With the cuffing season now in full swing, many of us look forward to the New Year. This may lead you to reflect on your resolutions, not just for life in general, however, it might also be for the future. Acquaintance.
According to Hinge’s experts, the best habit to adopt right now is emotional vulnerability.
Yes, as scary as it may sound, being an open book to a judge is more attractive than looks, income, and height.
A staggering 93% actually of detailedAccording to daters, they would prefer to date someone who is emotionally vulnerable.
However, only 36% of male users admit to opening up on a first date. 40% fear that sharing their feelings might turn off their potential partner.
Turns out they couldn’t be more wrong – 84% of daters think it’s a green flag when men talk about their values and 65% say men talk about their feelings is sexy.
If you swear that the next person you speak to is your autopsy, then it’s time to turn and be more vulnerable (shiver).
How can we balance honesty and candor without exaggerating?
Logan Urey is Hinge’s Director for Relationship Science. He says, “The trick to letting someone in is to not give too much information.”
“While there are no hard and fast rules, you need to understand that some of your personal things only need to be shared when someone earns your trust. Dating is a dance where you move towards each other and deepen your relationship.”
Ury suggests that you should be open and honest on your first date. This will make it easier for your date to feel comfortable and more open about themselves. Ury suggests asking your date a question before you continue with more. Encourage them to dig deeper.
She says, “For instance, if they talk to you about their job, ask them, “What surprise you most about your career?” or “What would a 16-year-old think of what you’re doing now?” You can use thoughtful questions to shape the conversation.
If they don’t feel comfortable with your request, you can go back down a path that is less vulnerable.
Ury says that it is crucial to confirm that someone shares their feelings with you. It doesn’t need to be a big response either — “You can smile, thank them for trusting you, and ask a follow-up question to show you care.”
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