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It is an important decision to cohabitate. It doesn’t matter if you have been together for a few weeks or years. moving togetherIt can transform a relationship for good or ill. So, when do you know it’s the right time to take the next step—and how can you set yourself up for success?
This week reader Lucy wrote: “Cohabitation is very common in today’s world. I’ve always wanted to know if there was a checklist of things and expectations that partners should discuss before moving on.”
When do you know that you are ready for a move in with your partner or spouse?
Member of the Counseling Directory Mary AaronWhen you know what you want from a relationship, you think you are ready for the next chapter with your partner.
“Are you happy merging your lives, sharing your space, and possibly going to bed at the same time? Do you want to do both? Are you only having sex with this person?” she asks.
How can you share bills, chores, decisions about where you live, and how do you make them all work together? Conflict?
These are the kinds of questions you need to ask yourself — and each other.
How does a relationship change when you live together?
Send it to me Life coach Sian Winslade.Once you begin cohabiting, a lot can happen. To overcome these changes, it is crucial to create a strong foundation in your relationship.
“The things you might have been able to hide while you’re not together become very apparent when you do. Some of the excitement probably goes away,” she says.
“You can see your partner’s bad habits. It doesn’t matter if your partner is snoring or leaving the toilet lid open. You must compromise on things like the temperature in the room, the time you eat, the time you go to bed, and the furniture style you prefer.
It is important to be able discuss these things.
What should a couple do before they move in together?
Winslade explains that communication is essential for couples.
“Things like how bills will be shared. How will chores be shared—cleaning, cooking—who does what? Do either of them have pets, and if so, what are the rules about care: walking the dog, feeding the fish?”
Then, there’s how you choose to spend your time and organize you days. How can you create a routine that works for both of you? “What activities can they do together? Maybe watch a movie. What can they do independently? Read a book. Wenslade answers. Wenslade asks: How do you communicate with others?
She says that they should also discuss their bedtime routines: Are they important to go to bed together or are they fine sleeping separately?
Because at the end of the day — literally in this case — happy cohabitation is about compromise and connection.
Love Stuck is a program for couples who have hit a sex wall. HuffPost UK is here to help you with your problems. Submit a question here.
Rebecca Zisser/Huff Post UK
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