parentsHe must be careful to not say certain phrases to his children during this time. birthday Period, a therapist warned — and at the top of the “naughty” list is asking your kids to kiss or hug a specific family member. Sorry, Aunt Ethel.
“It is important for parents and other people family The members respect the young man’s reluctance to hug or kiss a relative,” says the family psychotherapist Fiona Yassin.
“When a child or young person is forced to hug, kiss, or show affection, it takes away their agency and choice.
“Ultimately, it sends them the message that their bodies are not under their control, which can be dangerous for young people to hear.”
Yasin, founder of Yasin and Clinical Director at Wave ClinicThe organization supports teens who are struggling with addiction, trauma, or eating disorders. It said that the phrases parents use around their children can “make a young person anxious.”
Another saying you may find problematic is “I deserve another helping …”.” When someone talks about food in a sense that they are entitled to it, “it is associated to the idea that we must earn or have the right of eating it.”
To assign moral value foodShe believes it can lead to negative thoughts and patterns in young people.
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Likewise, saying you feel “bad” or “guilty” because you ate something is another thing to steer clear of — not just at Christmas, but in general.
She explains that it combines what you eat and who you are as an individual. It implies that there is no shame in eating something.
“Using phrases like these at the Christmas dinner table reinforces unhealthy eating mindsets and can cause young adults around you to become anxious about their food.”
If your child is misbehaving, it can be tempting to tell them they won’t get any presents—or Santa Claus will put them on the naughty list—if they don’t give in.
However, this can cause anxiety in children, especially for those who have mental health issues.
It can also impact self-esteem. She explains that rewarding ‘good’ behavior by giving gifts or punishing bad behavior with punishment can teach children or adolescents that they are less worthy of good behavior.
“Consciously and unconsciously, young people believe they are good when they do good, or bad when they do bad things. To a young person, this may appear to be who they really are unless a parent or caregiver constantly reminds them that they are loved unconditionally.”
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You suggest that you don’t tell a child to tell them they got the gift they want.
Yassin explains, “This phrase means that the gift to the child comes with terms and conditions.” “The question parents can ask themselves here is: Is it really a gift if it is not unconditional?”
It can be problematic to make statements about money. There is no way to ignore the fact that we are in a cost-of living crisis.
However, a phrase such as “If we bought that gift, it’s not possible to pay the bills” can confuse the child and make them feel guilty.
The therapist stated that children, especially young ones, don’t understand money. We shouldn’t expect them to.
“Giving gifts in this way can make young people feel anxious and guilty. It can be very confusing for a child if they are told they cannot have something they have asked for because there is no money to pay for it and then it shows up under the tree on Christmas Day.”
You shouldn’t feel guilty about doing any of these things. We all have our faults and things do slip through the cracks.
Yasin just hopes that it will make parents rethink their holiday plans.
“This is not about beating yourself up for what you said to your child in the past, it is about recognizing that some statements do more harm than good and modifying what you say will help prevent your child from developing negative feelings including anxiety, guilt and shame.”
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